hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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