when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
