i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
