wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
