I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
