literally had 100 drinks last night.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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