Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can I color on your dick again?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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