remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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