So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
try to milk me bitch
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