There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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