i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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