ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
