i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
