Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
