I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
