I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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