I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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