why do cheetos always look like penises
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We talked him into tasing himself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
