A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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