Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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