I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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