It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
