We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
