My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
