just tell him i said nine months
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
