U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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