physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
