its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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