the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
