Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
