i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize