Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
