NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
