i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
