Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
