I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
