New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
