i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
