I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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