You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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