I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
