Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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