"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
