Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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