I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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