Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
