she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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