How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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