Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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