Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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