Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
