Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize