Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
