okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
