All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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