i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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