i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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