i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
