Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
