just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
