It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
